Anyway, if you were having a party, and you invited "thin mints", how many would you invite, and would you want any other similar guests?

email from my dad

i missed the israel boys and they were only here one day, and i was afraid they were going to kill me.

it's hard to say goodbye to house guests.

hey it's not all rubbing and enya.

geddes is surprised to find out we have "finals week" in massage school.

what is bon jovi gonna say? he's gonna point you out and say, "where are the dolphins?!"

jay tries to get mom and her iphone zippo sorted out.

i like dolphins very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very much. my name is may. ooh yeah.

May: i need a 50-word bio
me: (see above)

what if you had a ginger, a black one, and a midget... which one would you treat the best?

jay plans my future children. and i laugh only at inappropriate things.

you know you're on an adventure when asking "did i just put my finger in goat's blood" is a legitimate question.

quote wall: check. status update: we'll see.

My talent is shopping at Wal-Mart

One of my five year olds volunteered this in our primary class today during our lesson about talents. No, Jade. No....

we're not derogatory to the hobo, we're honorary to the hobo.

mom just wants to make sure we're not offensive, as we design quilts inspired by hobos and candy.

Ursela is a Russian name? I always associated it with Octopus.

The way my brain works (or doesn't) surprises even me.

Sometimes I hit people and kick people. I never mean to hurt them.

Dad tries to explain why it's cool to mess with people.

Is "Bieber Fever" caused by a virus or bacteria?

How to derail pathology class for a good five minutes.

If you can count how many chocolate chips you ate, you're not eating enough of them.

Seth says he pigged out on a bowl of chocolate chips on the table. Then, true to form, he says he ate ten.

If I wanna tell someone something meaningful, I'll send them a text message

Andy's philosophy on whether lyrics need to mean anything.

Never get sick in July

Ben warns us to stay out of hospitals when the new interns start.

Maybe your mansion in heaven will have a bigger compost area because of the service you just rendered

dad makes me do his awful busywork, then mocks me for it.

Seth is 23% packed

is this an abuse of the quote wall? maybe.

Would you mind saying all that again, on the phone to my dad?

When Ashley takes her car in for service, she's not afraid to use her "lifeline."

There's nothing I despise more than an ill-fitting sock.

Voicing his wack priorities, James regains a spot on the quote wall.

oh, michael jackson! i was thinking michael jordan.

Rosie's response to my trying to teach her about Captain EO.